Emotion Rollercoaster
Fair Warning: This whole post has me in my teacher/preach mode. There are about 10 different topics half covered. Welcome to my brain. You've been warned. And you don't have to read. 🤣 Permission Granted.
Knowing that thoughts evoke feelings, feelings are indicator lights of a belief, and Jesus took care of it all is a delicious fruit cake with too many of those hard bites - it's supposed to be sweet, and then it is a mouthful of fruit that's turned to rocks. 🎂
This whole situation has been an adventure of putting into practice what I am to know about God and life. I find a very simple, slow-paced routine life facilities me not losin' my poo at any given moment. When my days are preplanned with knowing expectations of what it should look like, I can give time to my thoughts before they turn to feelings and see what I'm really believing. I am putting my anchor into promises that the bible says. First I gotta wrangle what my thoughts are saying (that's a wild time! 🤣I like to sit on the back porch and get my thoughts in order. If that doesn't work then good old fashion journaling.) - I have to make a choice to intentionally follow that thought to see where it goes OR to rewire that thought to what the bible says, what I have recited and attach my emotions to it.
Let's talk about soaking music for a minute. I'm happy that I can say I have friends with mixed faith. Some believe in what you can see and the bible is a well-intended collection of mixed stories of history. Others believe the bible is God-breathed through a collection of men who hand-wrote it and even in contradiction - you find the pattern of consistent truths in the written word. I'm not a scholar or historian but I can imagine music has had its influence in culture since the beginning of time! It's the background of most social media posts, commercials, tv, and movies. Monks have used sounds and specific notes during meditation, some use it for healing. Some churches have ban music. Studies have proven sound waves can affect cells of the body - without hearing it! It's a key piece of pop culture. Modern Christian faith is no different. When David was young, he would play the harp or have music play and he would sit and listen to God. We now have rebranded it as soaking music. It's soothing. If you dig in with the believers who like science, you'll find it with subliminal messages to help write biblical truths on your heart (rewire your brain - your way of thinking, yes brainwashing! 🤣) or with Theta Waves intended to chill you out. I dare conclude that music can transform how I feel. I wrote this whole paragraph to say, I found a place for soaking music in this season. I'll listen when meditating, going to sleep, or when I find myself super stressed and uptight. It's a form of putting my attention on the love of God.
It's this interesting dynamic of faith. God's Love and all that it is, is available to me. I just have to intentionally acknowledge it. It's that leap of faith. It's the piece we all tend to struggle with until we experience it - and then no one can rob you have that experience with God. Sure, you may have doubts - but that experience, it leaves a mark that no one can cancel or take away from you - not even yourself.
I say this on a daily basis: The kingdom of God is ass-backward. 🤷 That's s a churchy/non-churchy way to say that our initial belief or drive is to go after what they want, fight, dig in, get scrappy, fight to the top and it will make you happy. And while that is a truth, it's not THE truth. The bible has this principle that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. WTF. It goes against everything we feel we need to do to win life and yet..... We know that serving others, being a part of a community, and submitting to another's leadership (aka listening to a therapist or life coach, pastor or self-help guru) does make our lives better. In a healthy relationship with God, if we put our eyes on Him as the source, our problems don't seem to rule our lives. And while we are facing real-life problems over here. If I keep my focus on God, on how much I'm loved by God and what that looks like (remembering what His love really means in the practical), then my thoughts and emotions - which affect my daily life decisions for me and my family are healthy. They are stable. So while I may sound and look like a hot mess, I'm in a better place than I've ever been. I'm just mid-construction of my Soul (mind, will and emotions) and my heart (what I believe). I am in a constant state of falling apart and rebuilding. I can't be mad about the gift this situation has given me. Albeit, I hope to never be in this position again.
So how's Scott?
🤣
He's had better times but he's still going strong. Thanks for asking! 🤣
Scott caught a sinus bug. Symptoms showed up Wednesday and by Thursday Night he was running a fever between 99.9-105. We called Friday Morning and as per protocol hit the cancer clinic for chest X-rays, blood labs & cultures, swabs, and a good old fashion office visit. The good news is that Scott's body is choosing to fight this bug on its own! He did not need to be admitted and got to heal at home. The sweats & chills, headaches, and nausea were experienced from his own bed! If you know Scott, you know he'd rather be at home, always. I will come back and update but expect that he heals and keeps moving forward in healing.
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